30 Dec 2009

Goodbye 09!!

Well thats crimbo out of the way,just new years then my liver can have a rest!!
Every one is making predictions for 2010 so here's what i plan on the poker front!!

1. Try to increase my volume on UB,so far its going ok,my major concern is playing too many HU games where the variance seems to be mega high!! My single table results are far better but i seem to be spewing a bit on the 1 to 1 games, so i'm def going to hit the stt's harder in the new year and get my roll up. (As an incentive to me i will post my Sharkscope details on the 1st of Jan to show my meteoric progress in the coming months!!!!!)

2. Must get to play a few mini buy in mtt's,i played 1 $500 gtd on there & mini cashed so time permitting i'l be in for a few more.

3. Carry on reading & hopefully learning more and more about this fucking infuriating game, they say knowledge is power so lets hope they are right.

And thats about it for now,ive been playing for a while without really any success,all of last years roll went tits up when the life shit dumped on me,next year will be a lot rosier for me (and my family!) so this should have a more positive effect on every thing i do (i hope!!).

So watch me go go go in 2010,and hope everyone who reads this has a great new years bash & a fantastic 2010.
Gl to you all. smoothplz.

19 Dec 2009

It's snow joke!

Well the country yet again grinds to a halt due to a light dusting!! Thats a bit unfair tbh as here in Kent it really dumped on us large style!!
The thing that gets on my tits is the fact that they forecast it was going to happen & yet not much seems to have been planned to help,at one point the main M2 & M20 were both closed and every where else was blocked solid......yesterday my road (actually its a 'close' but that sounds a bit poncy!) had about a foot of snow,it took 2 hours to dig the motor out and travel 3 miles to work. It looked really picture postcard scenic but its a pain in the arse if you have to get to work!
Last weekend we had our works xmas do,we drank,ate,drank,boogied,drank,then all went home.......sunday morning i felt as rough as a badgers arse so i count that as a good night!!!

The pokes is doing ok....ive managed to more than double what those kind chaps at UB gave me,i'm trying to clear the bonus to get another 50 bucks but at the mo i cant put the volume in due to being too busy (but mainly due to the missus not working nearly every evening like she used to and getting the hump about me being glued to the lappy!).
So according to Sharkscope ive only played about 120 games, i need to play loads more to clear all the bonus. At least my little red line is pointing upwards (after a shaky start) and my game is progressing the right way.It might help my volume if i could play more than 2 tarbs at a time but i stay more focused with only 2 open.
The one problem i see is playing way higher than i should be with regards to my roll........ i know i shouldnt be playing $5 & $6 stt's & $5 HU but i know i can beat these fish over time so i'm giving it a go!! I just hope i dont get shagged by the variance too much,if that happens then i will drop down,i suppose its an ego thing but the $5 games on UB really are dire.........good times!!!

Ta for popping bye & glgl at the tables. smoothplz.

6 Dec 2009

Back in the game! (In a small way!!)

Having been stuck on the play money tarbs & getting depressed for a while, (have a look 2 posts ago for the reasons of my skintness!!) i decided to investigate other ways of getting back into the game. Now i could try the freeroll route;but this seems to involve beating 75 thousand other poor saps at some ridic time of the night for a tiny share of a tiny pot!!!
However, i read on a news sight that they were giving $50 free to deposit on Party Poker,($25 then another $25 after gaining points etc) seems like a good idea so i filled in the form & waited. 3 days later & i get an e mail stating i had filled the form in wrong...doh!! so i re fill it and wait some more.
Trouble is i forgot my password that i used on the download & had to re set it,i then receive this reply;

Hello, Thank you for your interest in our PartyPoker Free $50 Promo. Unfortunately we could not transfer the money, because we have rejected you from the eligibility list. The reason of rejection is Possible Cheater
Unfortunately we have a suspect that you may be cheating and abusing the terms and conditions of the promo. According to our terms and conditions we reserve the right NOT to transfer any money to a person who is suspected cheating – possessing multiple accounts, abusing IP, providing the incorrect verification data on purpose.
Also PartyPoker may have set your status as cheater.
The decision is final and cannot be changed. PartyPoker support is not aware about our promo therefore contacting them will not grant you the bonus.
Do not worry if you could not participate in this promo. Please read about other Pokernews promos in Online Poker rooms list and maybe you will find some promotions interesting to you.
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Promo support teamEmail:
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Cheeky fuckers!! I e-mailed and asked for an explanation...i'm still waiting!! (probably my fault for bolloxing the initial form up but it wasnt on purpose so they could have given me a bit of a break........its $50 ffs,not $500k.......arseholes!!!)

Then i read Mr.Origami's excellent blog (i obviously ignored his crap about LFC!!!) and he had a link to another site where you could apply for $50 on the Ultimate site,so i applied and 3 days later i'm up and running!!
Now i know that UB have been bad boys in the past but beggars cant be choosers i'm afraid,it was that or nothing at the moment and i'm just pleased to get some money onto a site again.
So far its all ok,in my first 40 ish games i'm up a whole 2 bucks!!!!!........ive been playing HU wheres its as swingy as Justin & Colin,and a few 6 man stt's where i seem to be winning back my HU losses, so its stt's for me from now on to try & clear enough UB points to get another 50 bucks. Sharkscope has me as a positive ROI on their sng only filter so lets keep it there and crack on!!
Gl to you all & nice one Mr. O. for the info.

18 Nov 2009

The Great Swine Flu Panic!!!

Well i'm sitting here this morning looking after my son who has got the worst case of swine flu known to man!!
Actually he hasnt imo,but all the hype has led us to believe that he had,let me explain.......
All over the weekend he had complained of a headache,sore throat,tiredness etc (and his temperature is nearly 40 degrees so we do realise he is unwell) so yesterday morning my wife phones the docs & explains his symptoms. The receptionist (coz you cant get past her,she knows best!!) tells wifey....'DO NOT BRING HIM DOWN HERE' but to get on the NHS 'swine flu advisory' website as our boy has clearly been struck down with this terrible disease. We obv do this and his symptoms tick all the boxes. We then get an authorisation number on line so i hot foot it to the local chemist to pick up his Tamiflu.
Obviously they do exactly what it says on the tin and he spukes 30 minutes after taking them!!!
So onto this morning and he wakes up as if nothing has happened,his temperature has dropped to normal & his ailments have all but disappeared.
Now obv we dont want our kids to suffer & will do anything to make them better but this swine flu 'pandemic' is a load of bollox if you ask me.
Two years ago my son would have gone to the doctors,been prescribed Calpol and told he had a bit of flu......But now it's Swine Flu & everyone panics,when my wife went into his school with my daughter and told the secretary that our son was absent because he 'might' have Swine Flu,the other mums in the office actually backed away!!! It was as if she had mentioned contracting a new outbreak of the Black Death!!
I only wish i had shares in the company that manufactures Tamiflu,they must be laughing their fucking tits off!!
So thats that then,glgl on the tarbs,thanks for your previous comments and next post might contain a bit of poker......unless I catch Swine Flu,in which case i will be milking it for all its worth!!!!!!! later. Smoothplz.

13 Nov 2009

Hello again!!!

Allrite chaps!!!
I'm back after god knows how long to write some drivel again!!
My last post mentioned about the wife getting her hours chopped & starting some thing else;well that went tits up,she got another job but we ended up about 7k a year out of pocket!!
Now thats not a fortune to some of you but we have allways spent as much as we earn (well ok,maybe a tad more!!).....not really wasting it (as such) but things like doing up our gaff cost a few quid tbh and expensive holidays can come back and bite you in the balls!! (oh,and doing our conkers on the credit cards etc dont help!!) now you could say its all our fault........and you're probably right,but please dont say it,because i'l just tell you to fuck off!!
Any way,to cut a long story short,we ended up seeking some proper advice,and now we are sort of sorted!!!(allthough this could take a bit of time to be 100% sorted!!!) ................allthough it was drastic & the last resort,we had no choice, (and as the house prices have dropped like shit out of a goose,meaning we have no equity that we have to give up,then we wont lose it.)
All this means that poker has obviously had to take a bit of a back seat,i have spent the last 8 months talking to money people,banks,official receivers and god knows who else so didnt have the heart or the right attitude to play,i allready spunked all my money on Stars & FT playing with a spinning head & home life,and any roll on Laddies had to be used on more pressing matters!!
BUT!!!............ now i feel like playing,blogging and getting into it again (slowly but surely! more on this next time!).

A quick mention for the Raise the River forum,its got a new look so get down there sharpish, click the link above and join the fun!!

Until later........later!!! Smoothplz.

11 Apr 2009

44 ftw for sure??!!

Evening all!! Cant beleive its been nearly 2 weeks since i played poker or wrote any more drivel!! The run up to easter is always busy for us at work,luckily sales figures for the 1st 3 months are up on last year so that cant be bad! Shame about my wife (who manages a posh restaraunt) ....her hours have been slashed as has her money which is a bit of a kick in the balls.
And to think at the run up to xmas she was putting in 60/70 hours a week and working hard to make the place run properly,now for the last couple of months numbers have halved due to 'the crunch' so she finds herself getting the 'its business & not personal but.......' speech!
However,she is very hard working/ambitious & has approached a few places with an impressive CV with some positive results.......(cant say too much now but all will be revealed next post ;-) !)
Any how, on to tonight & i managed a massive 1 game on Laddies.....Yes..1 game!!!
A 2 table 20 manner with a $5 buy in.
Its been a little while since i played so i wanted a gentle start! I was 1 of only 2 UK players on my table,the rest were mental Skandies & clueless Eurofish!! (so i thought i might have a chance!)
And so it turned out,i reached the bubble as c/l & looked down at the mighty 44,

** Hand # 2539893990 starting - 2009-04-11 21:06:04**
Multi-Table Freezeout[2899070]:Table 1 [Sit & Go Hold 'em] (1000.002000.00 NL - MTT) Real Money
karlos197413 sitting in seat 4 with 7853.50
smoothplz sitting in seat 6 with 16289.50
luggage81 sitting in seat 7 with 4314.00
offpist18 sitting in seat 10 with 11543.00[Dealer]
karlos197413 ante'd - 75.00
smoothplz ante'd - 75.00
luggage81 ante'd - 75.00
offpist18 ante'd - 75.00
karlos197413 posted the small blind - 500.00
smoothplz posted the big blind - 1000.00
** Dealing cards to smoothplz: 4c, 4d
luggage81 went all-in - 4239.00
offpist18 folded
karlos197413 raised to 7478.00
smoothplz folded
karlos197413 shows: Ad, Qs
luggage81 shows: As, Jh
** Dealing the flop: 7c, 6c, 10d
** Dealing the turn: 4s
offpist18 > hehe
** Dealing the river: 4h
karlos197413 wins 9778.00 from the main pot

Quadfuckingtastic!!!
Dont you just love it when that happens!!! I knew i had 3rd tied up at least but couldnt risk a call & race with the action before me,obv as it happened i would have busted 2 of the donkeys but i thought a fold (in this situation) was the right play. What do you think??

I only made 3rd in the end as i shoved on a 7 high flop with 10 10 only to see matey had flopped a straight.........grrrrrrr!!! O well, c'est la vie!

Thanx for reading & glglglgl.

30 Mar 2009

Out and about.

Another month so another show for me!!
This time an outdoor event in Newark.......surely the home of the man who invented anagrams??!!!!!
The friday setting the stand up was a nightmare,it was freezing cold & peeing down most of the day,then saturday it managed to be even more windy together with half an hour of sleet/hail/snow...it was fucking freezing & we sold next to fuck all!! Thank god yesterday (sunday) was nice & we managed to ship out some stuff to make the long trip worth while!

I normally recommend a few places on my travels so here's 2 just in case you visit Newark.

Cafe Bleu. (Restaraunt along the main drag ,close to the church) Lovely but a bit expensive French inspired gaff. Good food but we had the draught Stella & swore they had mixed the barrels with Tescos Blue Label lager...it was like water......always drink bottled bears in these places imo....they either dont know how to keep draught lager properly or the cheeky muvvas substitute the decent stuff for piss water & hope we dont notice!!
The Italian down the far end of town!!. So good i cant remember the damn name of it!!
But top hole grub,myself & my colleague asked for extra chilli/garlic on our meatballs....they were the best meatballs on spaghetti ive had in ages! The bottled Peroni was ice cold & went down a treat,then we finished of with a few 'lemoncellas' (i think thats how its spelt!!) Basically a strong after dinner drink that tasted lemony (f obv!!) & contributed to my serious headache the next day. (allthough the 2 bottles of red between us,8 Peronis, 4 pints of Guiness (before we got in there!) then what seemed like a gallon of voddy/red bull in the club after might have also helped!! And that was Newark for another year,i just hope next time its warmer & drier, thats the 2nd year we have done that show & its been piss poor weather both times!

As for my Poker exploits (this is supposed to be a poker blog after all!!) well,there arent any!!
Going away doesnt help & ive been working hard at home this past week so i havnt played any pokes at all for about 10 days! hopefully i can change that & crack on.
Right then,take it slow & glglgl to you all.

14 Mar 2009

Learning to stop & Nike hats!

I have shut down Ladbrokes after a right dodgy evening!! I just couldnt win a race or get any cards to hold up. But progress is being slowly made!!
A little while ago i would have either carried on & prob lost even more at the same stakes,or gone up in buy in to recover my losses (& done even more of my BR!!).
But this evening was different,i knew i was going to end up badly stuck if i carried on so that was the time to quit....it helped that the poxy comp decided to fuck up half way through some games i was playing but enough was enough.
If it was any consolation i realised i had lost most of the time when i was actually getting it in in front,so another day i could have easily been well up,but theres always another day/night.
The good news was this afternoon when UTD were mullered by the Scousers,ha fucking ha i say,i hope the glorious Blues beat the other Manc idiots tomorrow so we can close the gap at the top....i still dont think its over,but we cant afford any slip ups!!

Had a funny experience the other morning. I got up at about 6.30 to walk our 2 dogs.
Being a kind geezer i got dressed in the bathroom so i didnt wake the Mrs or kids.
It was quite frosty so gloves & wooly hat were found & put on...( a week or so ago it was still quite dark at that time so i didnt even put a light on......i'm so thoughtfull!!!)
Any how,i walk for a while then return up my road,theres a lovely looking girl scraping her car & as i walk past her i say 'good morning' She looks up & gives me a huge smile & with a bit of a giggle says Hi.
Obv she is now weak at the knees after glancing at my rugged good looks & is probably fantasising about me using the dogs leads on her & walking her naked around house,ever so often stopping to pleasure her in a variety of ways........................................
It wasnt until i got home that i realised my Nike wooly hat was inside out & the white washing instruction label was sticking up in the middle of it which made me look a right tool!! No wonder she was giggling at me, i must have looked like one of the fucking Tweenies!!
O well,message to self....make sure i dress myself properly before leaving the house!!!! (oh,and stop having pervy thoughts about my neighbours!!!)

Right then,thats it,ta for reading & glglgl to you all.

5 Mar 2009

Hoooooooooold!!! lol!

I dont normally post specific beats because we all get them & they bore the bollox of every one reading them!!
Its only 6 handed so its bubble time,i'm quite happy to call his mini raise with atc as i need some action before the blinds begin to bite; when i flop 2 pair v his AA i'm laughing like a schoolboy!!! lol!!

** Hand # 2461439284 starting - 2009-03-04 21:17:31** 6-Handed Hustle[2759208]:Table 1 [Sit & Go Hold 'em] (70.00140.00 NL - MTT) Real Money
Bacardy sitting in seat 1 with 3085.00[Dealer]
smoothplz sitting in seat 3 with 1895.00
esragib sitting in seat 6 with 7020.00
smoothplz posted the small blind - 35.00
esragib posted the big blind - 70.00
** Dealing cards to smoothplz: 9d, 6c
Bacardy folded
smoothplz called - 70.00
esragib bet - 140.00
smoothplz called - 140.00
** Dealing the flop: 5h, 9s, 6h
smoothplz bet - 70.00
esragib raised to 490.00
smoothplz went all-in - 1685.00
esragib called - 1755.00
esragib shows: Ac, Ah
** Dealing the turn: 10s
** Dealing the river: 5c
esragib wins 3790.00 from the main pot

All i needed was to dodge the A or 5.....but no,thanks Laddies!!!!!!
I wouldnt normally play 9 6 o/s before i get slated,but here i would!!
glglgl to you all.

27 Feb 2009

What credit crunch??!

Well its been nearly a week since i left 'Birmingistan' & travelled back to the luxury of the sarf!!
The exhibition went realy well for the company i work for & myself & fellow bull shitters.....(oooops i mean sales men!) all exceeded our targets!! Now in this time of strife & problems this was a major victory,it shows that maybe the economic downturn hasnt ruined every business.
Yes i know the car,construction & financial people are in the brown stuff but peeps have still got some dough to spend on caravans & all the bits that go with them,the show also contained boats,big fucking boats some of them,and they reported good sales figures so its not all bad news.
I suppose if you have got money you might as well spend it,keeping in the bank earns you f all.

Another sign was seen when we went out,every restaraunt was heaving,even one spectaculary over priced,down trodden Italian we visited was uber busy mid week,and they ran out of Peroni which was a shitter i can tell you!!
Best night up there was def had in Solihull. We ate in a place called 'Must', (we go every year!) its a kind of Thai/Eastern place untill about midnight,then turns into a mini disco. We drank like fishes then danced like spazzers....oddly enough i skipped brekky the next morning,must have been the umpteeth raspberry sambuca!! Thoroughly recommended for a top night,book though,it is very popular.
Cant really write about poker as i havnt had time to much since being home,will crack on next week.....we did have 1 stt up in the hotel.....8 players,winner takes all with a tenner buy in....obv i came 2nd...fml!!!!!!!

And the Glorious Blues you ask????? We beat Villa,we beat Juventus........we are Back!!!!!!

glglglglglglgl & ta for reading my ramblings!!

12 Feb 2009

The Flying Dutchman?

Well thats hardly a suprise.....the Gussmeister at CFC having been given permission to hold 2 jobs by the Russian footy big-wigs (who are bankrolled by Roman.....just a coincidence of course!!) I hope he can help us,his record at club level is good,his form at international level is VERY good but that doesnt always help (does it Mr Scolari?!!!)

Ladbrokes have just joined the micro gaming network....not sure who else is on there but at least the traffic has improved. Last night at 8 o/c they had about 14k players on line,not millions but about a 3 fold increase on the other week!! I only played 3 mini buy in stt's & was amazed to be the only English based player,lots more Skandys,Italians & every other fish seemed to come from Eastern Europe, i managed 2 wins & a 4th so the level was pretty piss poor (hope that continues!!!).

This could be my last post for about 10 days,i'm going up to Birmingham on sunday to set up a show that starts on tuesday until next sunday,i dont realy like doing these exhibitions,been there done that etc;but the evenings on the lash can be a good crack!! (full report when i get back!).
The one place we might go back to, after going there in October, is Caz Bar in Stafford.....if you have ever been there then you will know why!!!!!!!!!
Take it easy fellas & glglglglglgl.
ps... i tried to change the template on this blog & it went a bit Pete Tong,as well as it going messy,i deleted my blog roll.
So if you are reading this inane drivel & i havent got you as a link,please leave a comment & i will gladly add you.

9 Feb 2009

Thats sorted then!!

Well Roman Abramovich must have read my last blog entry (see below) and decided to take immediate action......well 2 days after!
A bit of a shock tbh but not totally unexpected,at least it gives the new boss just under half the remaining games to sort it & make improvements.
I read a while ago that some of the senior players (Lamps & JT were amongst the list) had expressed dismay at the lack of fitness training under Scolari's regime,we seemed to run out of puff in the last few games so hopefully this will change.
Imo we possess the players to be up the top of the league & not fucking about in 4th (which is just as well as the new boss is stuck with them until the summer!),but we have got to improve & fast or the top 2 (& maybe Villa) will put far too much distance between us.
Finally,dont feel too sorry for Scolari,he knew he had to get results fast (4th isnt good enough) & he must have seen what happened to Jose & Avram Grant when things didnt go how Mr Russian moneybags wanted them to. Big Phil i'm sure has coined a huge wedge in compo,its just a shame his CV has been messed up!! glglglgl to you all (& glglglglgl to the Blue's next gaffer....i think you may need it!!)

7 Feb 2009

Big Phil...sort it...NOW!

From being top of the tree a few weeks ago,the mighty CFC are tonight 4th & i'm not happy!!
FFS,we cant even take 3 points from a home game versus Hull.
No disrespect to Hull but these are points that we should be grabbing with both hands. A poxy draw is not good enough,Villa go above us,the dirty Scouse slags won tonight & i cant see the Hammers holding off the Mancs tomorrow. We are losing ground rapidly & need to get back to winning ways, consistently & fast.
'Big' Phil Scolari (why the 'big' tag? ....probably the size of his wages!) came to the Bridge with a good record but to be honest,he inherited & managed a truly fantastic Brazil side & a good Portugese side that had enough flare & skill to trounce the opposition no matter who was in charge.......is he just a mediocre manager who will fail to replicate his earlier success. I do hope not but give me Jose any day!!!

On the poker front....well,bugger all really!! I'm away on works biz next weekend for 10 days (details in the next blog!!) & then i will continue my assault on the fish (or just become a bigger one!!!) glglglglgl to you all.

4 Feb 2009

Pills & Points!!

Ladbrokes have really got on my hooter this week,i played a fairly huge amount of HU & STT's in december & last month & amassed quite a few 'frequent player points'.
I used a few up on their FPP gtd tourneys & thought i'd try another one the other night;but......little did i know ( or had read & forgotten!) they dont fucking well roll over!! I've obv allways got them but havnt taken much notice of them,now i want them they have fucked off!!! Poker Stars keep your FPP'S for ever.even though my a/c has been run down to nothing, i can still use my points (for sattys etc.) but Laddies snatch them back at the end of the month......tight twats! If you read Joppa's excellent blog http://joppa-road.blogspot.com/ then you see he isnt too keen on them either, we cant be the only 2 complainers & on a site with so little traffic its a bit bad. ( i know they have their 'rake race' & all that nonsense but thats not realy for mini stake fish like me!!!)

Today i went to the docs,i have had pains in my chest for a couple of weeks & it hurts like hell & wasnt getting better.
I knew (hoped!!) it was only a strained muscle but just needed the doc to tell me!! The problems he said were as a result of coughing my guts up when i had killer man flu at xmas & the new year i have torn loads of the little muscles that are in between your ribs.......he still listened to my heart & lungs etc & gave them the all clear...PHEW!! So he just prescibed me some strong painkillers. Off i went to my chemist & handed over my £7.20. Luckily the pharmacist was there & recommended buying the same poxy tablets,but not via script. these cost £1.95. why o why didnt my doctor tell me that & save me a fiver,or is he;
1.on a bung from the drug manufacturer every time he prescribed their gear or
2. just cant be asked & just writes it out coz its easier that way!!!

Personally I reckon he should work for Ladbrokes,they would make a good team!!
Glglglglgl to you all.

1 Feb 2009

J5,the new AA!

As i said in the previous post i had a quick go last night.
Laddies have a player point free roll so i cracked on. Unfortunately i didnt make the first break!!
Yes i know i'm short (after a bitch of a previous hand!!).
Yes i know he's got loads of chips so can afford to call.
Yes i know AJ could be better.
Yes i know bad beat posts get on every ones tits!!!!
BUT...........J mother licking 5 FFS!!!!!!!!!!

** Hand # 1119598146 starting - 2009-01-31 22:27:31** $1000 Player Point Freeroll[1736802]:
Table 57 [Multi Table Hold 'em](150.00300.00 NL - MTT) Real Money
mrundertaker sitting in seat 1 with 23354.
00cityG sitting in seat 2 with 3490.00
xhotbabesx sitting in seat 3 with 1550.00
MrMoneyII sitting in seat 4 with 5175.00
pokarmon sitting in seat 5 with 6686.00[Dealer]
smoothplz sitting in seat 6 with 2012.50
Stoats_tail sitting in seat 7 with 2040.00
Mr_fake sitting in seat 8 with 2050.00[Sitting out]
beccaw sitting in seat 9 with 6200.00
GOGS2908 sitting in seat 10 with 1975.00[Sitting out]
smoothplz posted the small blind - 75.00
Stoats_tail posted the big blind - 150.00
** Dealing cards to smoothplz: Ad, Jh
Mr_fake folded
beccaw folded
GOGS2908 folded
mrundertaker raised to 300.00
cityG folded
xhotbabesx folded
MrMoneyII called - 300.00
pokarmon folded
smoothplz went all-in - 2012.50
Stoats_tail folded
mrundertaker called - 2087.50
MrMoneyII called - 2087.50
** Dealing the flop: 4d, 4s, 5d
mrundertaker bet - 6412.50
MrMoneyII folded
mrundertaker shows: 5h, Jc
** Dealing the turn: Kc**
Dealing the river: 3c
mrundertaker wins 6412.50 from the main pot.

& it was good nite from me!!! 377th of 885 fish!
I logged back on later,checked the chip counts & the twat had busted in 109th place....it payed the top 100!! ha fucking ha!!!!!

O well, glglgl to you all.

31 Jan 2009

Miserable people,they are everywhere!

I'm not sure how many other parents got wind of the tax rebate we may be eligible for,the powers that be didnt seem to publicise it that well.....(suprise suprise!!)
Basically they underpaid peeps who can claim for childrens tax credit for a couple of years about 6 years ago. Luckily i heard about it,downloaded the forms & took them personally down to my local tax office. Its a big building just about in the center of town,but very unhelpfully has not got any public parking,so i do the decent thing & think 'fuck it',dump the car on the double yellows with my 4 ways on & leg it inside.
Mr.Grumpy the bloke on the front desk advises me to take it up to the 5th floor & hand it in to the right place to be date stamped.......pity he couldnt have looked up from his paper when he told me,ignorant prick!!
So i jumped in the lift,got to floor 5 & asked for the girl with the date stamp.........'thats next floor, up on 6'.........(i can almost imagine the glee on Mr Grumpys fat face.....not to mention a £50 ticket slapping on my motors wind screen)
So back into the lift & 'bingo',the first thing i see when the doors open is a fucking miserable looking girl sat with loads of other forms like mine.
'O,just in time ,only 2 days to go,i will date it to prove its in time'
'Thankyou' i reply
'Would you like me to check it & make sure you have filled it in properly?'
'No its ok,i'm on yellow lines,i'm sure ive filled it in ok' i reply
She looks at me as if i couldnt write my own name without eating the pen or stabbing some one with it & checks the form any way!!
It takes longer to check it than i took to fill it in!!
'It all seems ok, you can go'
I'm hugely relieved as that is the first form i have ever,ever,ever filled in........NOT!!!
The lift takes ages to get me back down, i rush past the front desk,time preventing me from giving Mr Grumpy a well deserved slap! & run to the car with a warden 20 feet away.
As i drive past him he scowls.......must be the lost commission he missed out on!!!!
I hope i do get the rebate,it will make having to deal with unhelpfull,miserable gits a bit less of a pain in the arse!!

Played bugger all poker this week,been too busy in the house or tired after work...(at least i havnt lost any more money!)
I may play in a while after the kids go to bed so glglgl me!! & gl to the Glorious Blues who HAVE to beat the scouse scum tomorrow afternoon!!! glglglglglgl to you all.

24 Jan 2009

Bad timing,good timing.

Well its Saturday night.....was a bit peeved earlier as i missed the start of the Laddies player point free roll by 2 minutes....mind you there was 700ish players & its only a grand gtd so not too peed off,cant be asked to play much tonight,i'l watch Chelsea destroy the bumpkins on MOTD as we strive for a FA Cup/Premiership/Champions League treble......well,we can all dream!!!!
I was watching some old comedian on the box the other night, all he told was mother in law jokes. None of his jokes were particually funny,mostly truly offensive,lame,derogatory,with weak presentation & his timing was awful.......i felt sad & sorry for my poor old mum in law so i went round her house & took her out;


Only took one punch and it was a fucking beauty!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ive changed some of the music for you lucky readers!! The 2 tone/ska sound was big for me in my early youth and The Beat were one of my favourite bands,they never got the recognition that The Specials and others got but were damn good imo!! There's also a lesser known but great Stranglers track, Jimi Hendrix goes without saying,& from my dancey/ravey/wacked out of my tiny mind day,a great CRW tune!!! A right old mixture but worth a listen i would say!!

glglglglglglgl.

21 Jan 2009

Grumpy old man!

Ladbrokes still being fairly kind to me at the moment,i'm cashing more times than not and a few wins in the 6 & 5 seater stt's has increased my BR a bit (not much but at least its going upwards!!).
Just been knocked out of the $400 gtd tourney on there,i pick up AK in late position,there is an early raise,then a mini raise so i just blast hoping to either take it down or induce a call for a big pot.....no such luck on any one folding!!,there is then two more all ins before the original raise,1 of them calls so its 4 to the flop,at the time i slightly more than them so i could really scoop large style. I'm against QQ,88,A6!! & KQ. No ace appears so i miss a huge pot. Now some would say its a foolish shove with AK after a raise & re raise before (& people to act afterwards) but i was happy to gamble at this point,as it happens i'm only really about evens v the QQ,just ul not to hit a K or A......gg me!!!
Last night i had to quickly pop into our local supermarket,i only needed 3 items so made my way to the '10 items or less till'. There was a lady in front who had a trolley load allready on the belt,did the cashier say anything? did he bollox, There was only a few tills open so i was stuck, she then looks at me all sweetly & says 'ooooh i'm sorry,i didnt see the signs' 'No,it must be easy to miss them' i replied, Of course it was not easy,the signs are about 5 ft x 5 ft,and there are stickers all over the fucking tills that say '10 items or less!!!'
I was still fuming when i got home & told the wife all about it.
'You are turning into a right grumpy old sod like my grandad' she said.......and do you know what??? i think she might be right!!!!!! glglglglgl to you all.

17 Jan 2009

Bring back the snow!

I love the snow,i'm like a big kid and cant wait to take my kids out on their sledges,so i'm hoping we get some more soon!!
What i dont like is the rain!! I woke up this morning at 7.30 to take the dogs out,had a quick look outside & it was grey but dry.....that is until i stepped outside,it then proceeded to piss down.
I got soaked and my 2 dogs looked like drowned rats,we got home and it must have taken half an hour to dry us all off, Henry the big black dog holds more water than SpongeBob Squarepants,and after getting me & them all dry guess what happened?? Yes thats right,it stopped fucking raining!!!
So not a good start to the day, i hope it gets better when the mighty Chelsea take Stoke apart this afternoon.

14 Jan 2009

Sorry???

Played the other night & as usual my AA aipf gets called by some tool with 44 (great call you spaz!!) Obv the 4 flops to leave me crippled.....then the tool says 'sorry' in chat......fucking sorry?? What for.....calling with 44 for all your stack?,flopping a 4 to shaft me?,breathing?,
I felt like replying if he was that sorry then could he give my fucking chips back & then commit suicide slowly!!!!....but i cant type that fast so i just wrote 'lol.. f off'.
So if you ever make a shitty play & suck out on me,dont say sorry,i know you dont mean it!!!!

10 Jan 2009

The boat from Coolersville!!

A mini revival going on for me but situations like this really give me the bollocks!!!

** Hand # 1108369027 starting - 2009-01-10 22:04:32** $10 6 pays 3 - 10 hand levels [Hold 'em] (20.0040.00 NL - STT) Real Money
whale54 sitting in seat 1 with 1530.00
simon080965 sitting in seat 2 with 1560.00
smoothplz sitting in seat 3 with 1360.00
THX-1138 sitting in seat 4 with 1590.00histro sitting in seat 5 with 1270.00
FoxyLady1a sitting in seat 6 with 1660.00[Dealer]
whale54 posted the small blind - 10.00
simon080965 posted the big blind - 20.00
** Dealing cards to smoothplz: Kd, Kh
smoothplz called - 20.00THX-1138 called - 20.00
histro raised to 80.00FoxyLady1a folded
whale54 folded
simon080965 folded
smoothplz raised to 260.00
THX-1138 foldedhistro called - 260.00
** Dealing the flop: Ac, Ks, 6d
smoothplz bet - 142.50
histro called - 142.50
** Dealing the turn: Jd
smoothplz checked
histro checked
** Dealing the river: 6c
smoothplz bet - 213.75
histro raised to 427.50
smoothplz raised to 641.25
histro went all-in - 440.00
smoothplz called - 867.50
histro shows: Ah, As
histro wins 2590.00 from the main pot

I thought i was being really clever & taking him to the cleaners,how fucking wrong was i!!

9 Jan 2009

Darts.....how exciting!!

A reasonable evenings play for me tonight,i completely suck at multi tabling (plus any more than 2 games at a time & Laddies seems to grind to a halt on my comp!!)
So i played 2x $5 6 player sng's. A 1st & 2nd was ok in my book before i regged for the $4 $1k gtd. deep stack tourney. 357 players sat down & the standard was dire!! ok,i'm not Gus Hansen but at least ive got a slight scooby what its all about!!
I doubled early when matey called every bet on an A high board holding bottom flopped pair against my AK,some peeps were calling huge bets with a picture card,it was a joy to watch!!!!
Any way,i finally finished 56 (top 40 get paid) Now you might think 'what a spanner,i thought it was dire!!' but i horribly over played TPTK against mateys 2 pair,then ran AQ into A3 that turned the fucking 3.....grrrrrrr!!!
But hey ho,i have played & cashed in Ladbrokes tourneys before & it wont be long before i do so again (i hope!!).
A bit earlier i watched the darts on tv,when i was younger i played darts quite a bit in the boozers i frequented but i cant for the life of me see how people get excited watching it.....yet the place was heaving,any excuse for a night on the lash imo,the darts fans probably think us poker players are weird sitting all alone in front of our comps swearing at the screens!!!! Takes all sorts i suppose!! glglglgl to you all,

Lets go!!!

Its been a slow start to the year,mainly as i got wacked by the killer man flu bug!!
Talk about feel like shit,it hit me over xmas which was a downer...luckily i'm nearly back to full strength,i have even attempted to pack up smoking to get rid of the coughing!!

So its up & away on Laddies with the inevitable dodgy hands & appaling play catching me out;

** Hand # 1106105184 starting - 2009-01-06 20:33:28** $5 6 pays 3 - 20 hand levels (c) [Hold 'em] (50.00100.00 NL - STT) Real Money
matt12001 sitting in seat 1 with 2667.50
smoothplz sitting in seat 3 with 2030.00
mao-mao sitting in seat 4 with 665.00
pokerpotta sitting in seat 5 with 3562.50[Dealer]
matt12001 posted the small blind - 25.00
smoothplz posted the big blind - 50.00
Dealing cards to smoothplz: Kd, Kc
mao-mao raised to 300.00
pokerpotta folded
matt12001 went all-in - 2667.50
smoothplz went all-in - 2030.00
mao-mao folded
matt12001 shows: 9h, 9s
Dealing the flop: 4h, 4s, 2s
Dealing the turn: 8c
Dealing the river: 9d
matt12001 wins 4460.00 from the main pot.
Not bad play by matey just plain unlucky to get rivered like that, the thing is,its starting to not worry me,shit happens & as long as i get it in good then thats all i can do......bad beats? i piss 'em!!! Just fire another game up & crack on!!

Now this hand did give me the hump!! Maybe i should have shoved,but wtf does matey think he is beating........his calling gets rewarded & i get done again!!

** Hand # 1107204180 starting - 2009-01-08 21:25:11** $5 6 pays 3 - 10 hand levels (c) [Hold 'em] (200.00400.00 NL - STT) Real Money
benji0 sitting in seat 4 with 6485.00[Dealer]
smoothplz sitting in seat 5 with 2215.00
benji0 posted the small blind - 100.00
smoothplz posted the big blind - 200.00
Dealing cards to smoothplz: 10h, 10s
benji0 called - 200.00
smoothplz bet - 600.00
benji0 called - 600.00
Dealing the flop: 7c, 5c, Ad
smoothplz bet - 1200.00
benji0 called - 1200.00
Dealing the turn: 8s
smoothplz went all-in - 615.00
benji0 called - 615.00
benji0 shows: 9c, Qd
Dealing the river: 6d
benji0 wins 4830.00 from the main pot.

Finally a thought for you all.....how is it that all the cars with stickers that state;
'want to earn £500-£1000 a month' & 'want to double your income' are really shitty old cars!!???
glglgl to you all.

8 Jan 2009

Welcome!!

Welcome one & all to my new blog,a record of my quest to improve & play this game to the best of my ability! Last year i had a bash on Full Tilt,did quite well then nearly spunked the lot!!!
So its back to grinding on Ladbrokes in an attempt to build my roll back up,its fustrating to say the least, i know i can play ( & win ) at higher stakes but for now its nose to the grind stone & be patient.
As you see on the site i belong to the excellent RTR forum,pop over & have a look,its a good crack!
Ive also got some music on here,a right random selection,from dance/d&b to the earliest punk single i ever bought ( New Rose by The Damned!) If you think its all shit then hit the off arrow!! New sounds will be added every week...(you lucky people!!)
The blog will contain my results (mainly for my benifit....i know it is as boring as shit reading a load of bad beat storys!!) & some of my life events.....please link me up if you wish & i will reciprecate, & all comments gladly received.
In case you are wondering about the blog title,it refers to my large lab/retriever who is called Henry...he sits patiently by my feet as i swear loudly at the comp as i get rivered for the umpteenth time!!